Why I Am Grateful I Failed The Job At WHSmith

We all sat down in Kate's (not her real name) office I was just as nervous as the 6 girls and 1 boy, about this interview the girl sitting next to me told me it was her first time and I reciprocated by telling her it was my first too - although she had just finished year 11 I on the other hand am 19 years old. The group chatted in a very forced manner although it wasn't awkward from what I can remember. Then we took the very much dreaded, by me anyway, Maths paper when she finally marked it and told me and the others to go out with her, I was heart broken and I am pretty sure the girl next to me must of heard a sting from my heart. By taking us out of the office it was clear that I hadn't got the job as my sister working for them had informed me the night before that if she takes you out, you didn't get it. We all escorted ourselves out and I can imagine the girls who did get through very excited and chirpy right now ringing everyone how they got the job.

My friend reacted with lots of annoying texts about how? what did you do wrong?, ETC. I was just upset and at the time she was only making it worse. This was the reason why I avoided telling my friends although I had to tell 3 - 2 for being a reference for it and 1 kindly printed off the assessment sheet as I don't have a printer (well I do have a printer it just choices to scan nothing than print important documents).

Dad was the first person I saw properly and his reaction was by far my favorite. growing older, me and my Dad have grown apart and we don't talk much. Anyway he told it was fine and that he had been turned down from around 6 jobs himself ! He reminded me to try again somewhere else. He then took me home and saw a fair opposite our house and immediately offered to take me, just me and him - me feeling sorry for my self just said no I did regret it immediately, to be fair I still do. He then said he's buy take-out since it was just past 10 am I turned down this offer too and went to my room whilst he left saying he'd be back.

Mum just said "You should've read the questions properly!" and was like "oh well just try else where" and that was the end of that.

My sister reacted with what went wrong ? "don't worry the people who passed go through an interview and don't necessarily get the job anyway" which defiantly made me feel a little better.

Mean while Dad got me a cake from the fair and gave it to me to how lovely of him! Honestly I thought over the years Dad stopped caring and to a certain extent he did stop showing he cared but after his little suggestions and cake I don't think we ever grew apart but our relationship matured and evolved to point where I don't need his reassurance anymore, I know he loves me. which makes me very happy and worry less about our 'deteriorating' relationship. Everyone else was just making remarks such as; "oh well", "try again" and "what did you do wrong" and Dad was focusing on how to make me feel better and smile.

The point is people fall and fly all the time, no persons fate is a single line. I fell and it gave my Dad a chance to fly in front of my own eyes and now I truly believe things happen for a reason, even the bad things. By failing this interview I saw my old Dad again.

Letting Go

I've never had a boyfriend, not because I never liked anyone, but because I don't know how to get one I guess. I am going to tell you a true story about me which spans just under 3 YEARS !!!

The boy I liked Sam (not his real name) was seen as the boy who every girl wanted in my school him and his brother (John) were practically celebrities based on their good looks. The boy I liked (Sam) was kind and sweet I can honestly say I really liked him for him ... honest.

Me being an impressionable girl I was, I got under the influence maybe, sort of, potentially he liked me too. although my very loyal and good friend heard him call me 'sexy' (I inwardly laugh) because I've never wanted be sexy we were in Sixth Form at the time (16 year olds) I never have or tried to be 'sexy'. I tried to keep up this 'sexy' image as I kind of hoped it'd encourage a better relationship with us. So what did I do ? Probably the most objectifying thing on the planet I started daring slighter lower necklines - nothing vulgar trust me I'm not that girl. I got back into dresses to show-off my new found girly-ness. We talked here and there and I gave it my best smile and bathed in perfume in every prior encounter with him.

Alas he was probably more into my sister than me although many are, have been and most likely will be - being honest I don't mind it that much I've had it for years now. I've liked this boy for around 3 years now so you can image how much I liked him and tried to make feel the same, or at least something.

Fast forward 3ish years to the present, his tweets started mirroring mine, by this I mean that I tweeted about wanting a haircut, about a day later he did the same. I complained about online shopping taking too long he wrote something on the same lines and though in some messed up way this meant he was reading my tweets and I was over the moon for about 3 days.

3 days later ... I realized he had un-followed most likely a while back because it takes me a while to notice thing like that on Twitter. So I was happy over some concept I made in my head, a scenario of assuming he read my tweets and mirrored them and the idea that he might actually be noticing me more over the fact he wrote VERY generic tweets

I realized something the last time I even thought about him before I saw his tweets was at least 4 months (I did an extra year so he had left school earlier to me so we haven't been going to the same school), so maybe it was time to move on. It probably seems odd to everyone but I un-followed him and about a day later I tried to search his name into Twitter out of interest to see if he's tweeted anything and I couldn't even remember how to spell his surname correctly so I couldn't find him and that's what inspired me to write this.

Letting go can be hard due to many reasons; we believe things will change and we can re-kindle/create something new/old, we're used to the routine/person or even because it makes us feel safe. However it is worth it, to move on and let go as if you don't let go you'll let great opportunities walk right past you. So I encourage you to let go of someone/something which your not willing to let go and embrace that because believe you'll never look back.

"Seize the day"

For some of you, who still aren't convinced letting go isn't good-bye your allowed to look back here and there but don't let the past become you present and future I spent years thinking I needed him to like me too when after a long time (2 years) I let go I just didn't know it. I still see Sam as the boy I liked in Sixth Form and how him waving at me with his smile meant the rest of the day I spent smiling too. that's what your memories should be making you laugh and smile because their happy, remind of something or even because your embarrassed (I just got rid of every low neck shirt - although I held onto one) - I swear never to dress 'sexy again'.

Letting go can be very hard but it's better than the alternative.